One bad day or terrible argument can leave you wondering if a divorce may be right for you. While you may be looking at a divorce as a solution, it’s a permanent solution to what could just be a temporary problem. Many couples wonder if they’re impulsive when they first start considering a divorce. Waiting until the dust has cleared and tempers aren’t raging to consider how you really feel about divorce can save everyone a lot of heartache and expense.
3 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Filing for a Divorce
Before filing for a divorce or hiring an attorney, start by taking an assessment of your feelings without input from anyone else. You need to know what you want without the guilt or concern for others weighing on you. Your answer to the following questions can give you some insight into how you feel and what steps you should take in your relationship.
- Are You Still in Love With Your Spouse? : You may be asking, what does love have to do with it, and the answer is a lot! Saying you want a divorce from someone you still love is going to be an uphill battle. Plus, if your relationship is suffering from a lack of intimacy and affection, you may feel like the relationship is struggling and dying. Divorce may not be the right answer for this situation. You may be better served by marriage counseling to work through the issues causing strain in your relationship. If you divorce before working on these feelings, you could find yourself divorced from the person you love, unable to move on to a new life.
- Were You Fully Committed to the Relationship?: People in a fully committed relationship invested in their life as a part of a couple, and you still want to divorce, then you should proceed. If you never thought of yourself as a “we” when thinking of your significant other, then you may want to give your marriage your full commitment to make certain you know what you’re giving up before it’s gone. Marriage is not two people living together meeting their own needs without considering how those actions impact your lives together. Divorce is a permanent choice and not something you can necessarily test run.
- Are You Ready for the Negative Side Effects of Divorce?: Fear is not a reason for avoiding necessary action, but it’s also important to be aware of the realities of the life you have and the one you are choosing. Divorce is the end of a family unit. You will still be related to your children, but the family unit will no longer be intact. The loss of your ideal life is a significant disappointment that you will need to acknowledge. The emotional rollercoaster is a series of ups and downs that you will need to go through to get to the other side. You also need to realize that some people in your life may be disappointed or angry with your decision. Your children, your parents, and your friends may be hurt and in pain over your decision. You have to own your role in their disappointment and pain, especially if you have children who will grieve the loss of their normalcy. It’s okay to acknowledge these hurdles and decide the divorce is still the right choice.
If you are sure you’re ready to file for your divorce, then one of the attorneys from Tinny, Meyer & Piccarreto, P.A., would be happy to answer any of your questions. Call us at (727) 245-9009 or reach out to us online right now.